


The Blush Game, Bacon Cheese Fries and Phonesex

by ikkiM



Series: Scenes in Search of a Fic [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, unfinished fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-10
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-13 01:23:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5689183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ikkiM/pseuds/ikkiM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is from the same story as the rest of Scenes in Search of a Fic. In this section, you figure out why Brienne thinks Jaime is gay, Cersei is introduced and the final chapter takes place after the fake engagement, but somehow this grouping of scenes worked for me. Reminder that Tywin has cardiac issues and he has hired Brienne as a nutrition, diet, exercise and stress coach.</p><p>Just a reminder that this is unbeta-ed work I am just posting so I can be finished with it. It's not good. The characterization is off; the writing is ...not good, but there is some (hopefully) funny stuff. Keep your expectations very, very low.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cyber Chatting Never Turns Out Well

**Author's Note:**

> Jaime decides to entertain himself during meetings and a message gets misdirected.

Jaime was bored. He really had no idea why they were meeting with Roose Bolton. The Bolton businesses were based on their slaughterhouses. He’d vaguely heard something about shipping contracts. He looked at the wench. She was staring at his father, while everyone else seemed hypnotized by Bolton. Roose himself stopped speaking to eat a prune. Jaime decided to have some fun. He pulled up a pink and red color chart in one corner and opened up a chat window to Brienne.

`Jaime: Whut r u doing?`  
`Brienne: Assisting your father.`  
`Jaime: Ur not even taking notes.`  
`Brienne: Neither are you. And you’re the one who is supposed to be paying attention.`  
`Jaime: T’s job.`  
`Brienne: Then there’s nothing for me to do either.`  
`Jaime: RU a Lannister?`  
`Brienne: We’ve been over this already. I’m not related to you.`  
`Jaime: Ur not fucking him either.`

He looked at her. No blush at all. That was intriguing.

`Brienne: Don’t talk about your father that way.`  
`Jaime: Bored`  
`Brienne: Not my fault.`  
`Jaime: Entrtain me wench`  
`Brienne: No.`  
`Jaime: Cybersex?`

She turned pink. He matched the color and crossed it off his chart.

`Brienne: NO!`  
`Jaime: May be Im GOOD at it.`

She shifted in her seat. His father shifted as well.

`Brienne: Gross.`  
`Jaime: Jst try.`  
`Brienne: NO!`  
`Jaime: Ill start.`  
`Jaime: I kneel in front of u rght now, run my tongue up ur calf, an kiss up ur inner thigh.`

Brienne slammed her tablet closed. His father began breathing deeply. Jaime grinned.

A new chat window opened on his laptop.

`Tyrion: What are you doing?`  
`Jaime: Wtchng her blush`  
`Tyrion: Who IS she? Father hasn’t yelled or thrown anything all meeting long.`  
`Jaime: Hes in a good mood?`

Tyrion choked.

Jaime closed his tablet.

Roose Bolton’s silky voice filled the room. Gods. He hated working. Only one more presentation before lunch.

一

Jaime was completely uninterested in any joint venture with Highgarden. It didn’t matter. Mace Tyrell was just warming up to his presentation, and they were already twenty minutes in. He pulled up his color chart and opened a chat window to Brienne.

`Jaime: Uncross ur legs`

Brienne looked at Bronn. He had warned her before that Bronn was trying to add her legs to his porn collection. She uncrossed them.

`Jaime: I can gt my head btw them better now`  
`Brienne: Gods. SHUT UP. `

She re-crossed her legs. He marked off a new shade of pink.

`Jaime: U LOVE it, wench`

She narrowed her eyes at him.

`Jaime: U dnt lik oral? Ddnt Rly go down on u?`  
`Brienne: I am NOT discussing this with you.`  
`Jaime: K. Wht abt ur nipples? `  
`Brienne: SHUT UP.`  
`Jaime: Knw u have them, jst no tits`  
`Brienne: STOP IT NOW.`

Another window popped up on Jaime’s tablet.

`Tyrion: Fifty dragons say Mace will drop to his knees and lick Father’s boots before the end of the meeting.`  
`Jaime: R ur nipples pink? Hw sensitive? Rub or pinch?`  
`Tyrion: WTF?`  
`Jaime: FUCK. That 4 B.`  
`Tyrion: You’re cybersexing BRONN? Switched teams?`  
`Jaime: U know it.`

The chat window from Brienne opened again.

`Brienne: What is wrong with you?`  
`Jaime: Im gay and in th closet. Need ur hlp 2 kep sekrit. Dnt tell dad.`

Jaime closed his window with Tyrion.

`Jaime: Lch?`  
`Brienne: I have plans with Loras.`  
`Jaime: FUCK L. Wht abt ME?`  
`Brienne: I’m certain you can find your own food. `  
`Jaime: Im cmng w u`  
`Brienne: No.`  
`Jaime: Dnt mke me eat w BRONN`  
`Brienne: Eat with Tyrion.`  
`Jaime: He lts me eat junk food u dnt`  
`Brienne: Exercise your own self-restraint.`  
`Jaime: NEED U.`  
`Brienne: You do not.`  
`Jaime: DNT ABNDN ME :... :,(`  
`Brienne: You are the vice-president of the largest corporation in Westeros. You do NOT need to message like a 14 year old girl. You have a full keyboard in front of you. And you are perfectly capable of finding your own lunch. Go with your Father and Mr. Tyrell.`  
`Jaime: I’ll type in full sentences with punctuation,!?. if you let me join you for lunch.`  
`Brienne. FINE.`  
`Jaime: Where was I? Oh, I remember. Your nipples.`

一

“Holy fucking seven, Brie. You look great!” She hadn’t seen Loras since college graduation. Now she was wearing designer clothes, her hair, although still wild, was no longer butchered and could almost be considered flattering. He hugged her and smacked a kiss on her cheek. She felt Jaime take a step closer.

“Loras, you know Jaime Lannister. Jaime, Loras Tyrell.”

“Jaime and I have known each other for years,” Loras responded.

Brienne sighed. She was having lunch with two of the most gorgeous men in Westeros and they only had eyes for each other. She should have known he was gay.

一

Margaery had sent eleven text messages. Brienne finally got a chance to call her that evening.

“So, you didn’t tell me you were working for Jaime Lannister. Tell me EVERYTHING.”

“I’m not working for Jaime. I’m working for Tywin Lannister.”

“Mr. Maleficent? King of the Underworld? The Man Who Made the Stranger Cry? THAT Tywin Lannister?”

“He’s not like that, really. I’m working as his assistant.”

“Look, Brienne, my grandmother is almost afraid of Tywin Lannister, and she’s not afraid of anything. She could face down a Kraken without chipping a fingernail and I once saw her shudder before going into a meeting with him. How did you end up working for him?”

Brienne spouted her cover story. “He knew my father and offered me the position of assistant and I’m delaying grad school for a year.”

“Brie, you know if you ever need anything...”

“I know. I’m not a charity case, though. I like working for Mr. Lannister. He does pay well, but I do work all hours.”

“What? Does he call you at 3:00 AM come over and take notes? I imagine he doesn’t sleep.”

“He usually goes to bed around 10:30 PM and gets up around 7:00 AM.

There was silence on the other end of the line followed by an exhale. “Brienne. How do you know what time Tywin Lannister goes to bed?”

“Don’t get weird, Margaery. I’m living at Casterly Rock. That’s how I know his schedule.”

“You are living at Casterly Rock? The Fortress of Doom?”

Brienne hoped Margaery could hear her rolling her eyes. “It’s not a Fortress of Doom. It’s really very lovely. The gardens are wonderful and there are two heated pools, indoor and outdoor, full gym, tennis courts, game rooms, media room, and the library is amazing.”

“How do you manage not to tell me these things? If I got to see more than the entryway, dining room and main ballroom at Casterly Rock, I’d be posting that news all over the internet. Garlan and I once tried to sneak a peek around the place during a Lannister party and we were stopped by some frightening security guards. Are you telling me you have free run of the place?”

“Well, considering I live here, yes. It’s not like I’m going into Mr. Lannister’s bedroom or Tyrion’s bathroom.”

“What about Jaime’s room? Have you been in his room? You mentioned a pool? Have you seen him shirtless?”

Brienne was silent.

“Gods, I can hear you blushing over the phone. Jaime Lannister is a fucking god. What does he look like shirtless? Chest hair? Pecs? Abs?”

Brienne covered her eyes. “He comes and swims sometimes when I’m in the pool. He’s as beautiful as you think he is.”

“Yummy. So, tell me what’s going on with you two?”

“There’s nothing to tell.”

“That’s not what Loras said. He said Jaime was all over you.”

“He wasn’t all over me. I tripped and fell into him. I still don’t know how to walk in heels一as he reminds me on a daily basis.”

“Loras did mention that you’d had a definite wardrobe upgrade.”

“Mr. Lannister insisted. He has certain standards of appearance.”

“Brienne ‘Ragged Jeans and Sweatshirt’ Tarth wearing designer dresses and heels. Have you finally taken an interest in clothes? Sansa will be delighted.”

“Jaime picks out my clothes,” sighed Brienne.

“Jaime Lannister picked out your clothes? He was all over you at lunch and you’ve seen him shirtless? Do you have photos?”

 

一

Edmure Tully was clearly in love. That could be the only possible reason he would believe that Tywin Lannister would be interested in his wedding plans. Tywin had meetings to discuss business, not to discuss the red color scheme of the Tully/Frey Wedding. He needed to shut up, Soon. Tywin was going to blow a gasket. Jaime could tell.

Brienne tilted her head to the left. Tywin inhaled and exhaled. Edmure kept droning on.

He opened a chat window to Brienne.

`Jaime: Is my father on drugs?`  
`Brienne: Why do you ask?`  
`Jaime: Because he should be going for Edmure’s throat right about now.`  
`Brienne: Don’t be ridiculous.`  
`Jaime: There is no way my father is interested in listening to this idiot.`  
`Brienne: Okay. He might not be interested. It is a little boring, but I’m sure negotiations will go much better now that Edmure isn’t acting like a frightened rabbit. `  
`Jaime: He did almost piss himself at the last meeting.`  
`Brienne: Which was completely unproductive and a waste of Mr. Lannister’s time. `  
`Jaime: Can’t waste Father’s time. What about wasting mine?`  
`Brienne: Play solitaire. Or you know, pay attention and make polite comments.`  
`Jaime: We could play a game.`  
`Brienne: Dots?`  
`Jaime: A SEX game.`  
`Brienne: No.`  
`Jaime: Come on. It’ll be fun. Truth or Dare.`  
`Brienne: Fine.`  
`Brienne: I dare you to be polite and make nice comments to Mr. Tully.`  
`Jaime: DONE!`

Jaime cleared his throat. “The wedding sounds impressive. I’m sure Roslin will make a beautiful bride. I’m sorry I won’t be able to attend, but please let everyone know that Jaime Lannister sends his regards.”

Edmure practically beamed with pleasure.

`Jaime: Your turn. Truth or dare? I recommend truth because the dare is going to involve you removing your panties.`  
`Brienne: Shut up. Fine. Truth.`  
`Jaime: Do you masturbate?`

Brienne turned a new and undiscovered shade of pink. He marked it off on his color chart with a grin.

`Brienne: That is inappropriate.`  
`Jaime: You chose Truth. You could have had the Dare instead. `  
`Jaime: I don’t need you to answer. Your blush tells me everything.`  
`Jaime: So, fingers or sex toys?`  
`Brienne: Shut UP.`  
`Jaime: Wait. It’s my turn. I choose Truth. I’ll tell you I masturbate. Usually in the shower. Saves clean up. Sometimes I use my left hand for a different feel.`  
`Brienne: GODS JAIME. I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS.`  
`Jaime: Then why did you ask?`

She looked up from her tablet and glared at him. He grinned and winked before marking off a new shade of red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish I could use colored text to show that Jaime thinks he's sent the joke message about being gay to Tyrion, but it actually goes to Brienne.
> 
> I did try to use some smaller text and hope it makes sense.
> 
> Again, keep the expectations low. :)


	2. Beginning with Cersei and Ending with Vomit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This bit is an encounter with Cersei and the resulting evening out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed and a POV mess.

"What do you mean she's not a servant? Of course, she's a servant," Cersei said with a sneer.

Jaime sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose as Tyrion looked to him for assistance.

Upon her arrival at the Rock, Cersei had snapped her fingers at Brienne and ordered her to fetch a gin and tonic. Tyrion had intervened and suggested to Brienne she go upstairs. That left Tyrion and Jaime to handle Cersei, and Cersei was not in a mood to be handled.

Jaime looked at his sister with new eyes. She looked tired and worn. "Cers, Brienne is father's personal assistant. The only person allowed to give her orders is Father. Believe me, the rest of us have tried. Father has been very clear on this issue."

"She lives in the house and he's paying her? That makes her a servant and she can get me a fucking gin and tonic when I fucking tell her to. She needs to get her huge, ugly, _servant_ ass down here do as she’s told."

" _Cersei_!" Tywin’s voice was like the crack of a whip. Three heads turned. None had noticed Tywin entering the room. "If you are referring to Ms. Tarth, she is most certainly not a servant. She is my personal assistant. She assists me. As far as your treatment of her, you are to behave as if she is an honored guest in this home. Is that clear?"

"Father, I didn't mean...It was just a misunderstanding." Cersei smiled her most endearing smile.

"Is that _clear_?" Tywin repeated, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes, Father, it's clear." Cersei was practically shaking with fury.

"What else should be perfectly clear is that the consumption of alcoholic beverages shall not occur in this home prior to the appropriate cocktail hour, which is two hours hence," Tywin said.

"Yes, Father."

"Jaime, please go see to Ms. Tarth. Perhaps she'd like to dine out in Lannisport. Tyrion will join you. Cersei and I will have dinner alone.”

Jaime was more than happy to leave.

一

“Where are we going?” Brienne asked.

“Your choice.” Jaime, Brienne and Tyrion were sitting in the back of one Lannister cars on the way to Lannisport.

“There’s a new vegan place…” she began.

“No.” In unison.

“So it’s not really my choice then.” She crossed her arms.

Tyrion placated her. “Brienne, Cersei was a bitch. Cersei’s always a bitch. We’ve been tasked with keeping you away from her this evening. Which is perfectly fine and I’m sure we’ll have a lovely time, but you cannot soothe your wounded ego with vegan food.”

“Burgers or pizza. Your first Cersei experience should be washed away with beer, burgers or pizza. Fried food. Cheese. Bacon.” Jaime voiced his opinion on the matter, “I say sports bar.”

She gave in. “So it's not my choice. Fine. I’ll have a salad. So should you.” She eyed Jaime’s waistline. He never gained an ounce. It was annoying. “It wasn’t my first Cersei Baratheon experience. She just didn’t remember.”

Brienne did remember, though. It had been shortly after her father’s death and Robert Baratheon was posthumously awarding her father Order of the Throne Medal for Valor along with several other military honors. She’d met Cersei then. Cersei had told her that Selwyn would be proud to have such a strong, tall son. Brienne had been mortified.

“So you know she’s a bitch. At least you weren’t surprised. Cersei is nothing if unsurprising.” Tyrion winked at her.

Brienne tilted her head. “Neither of you need fried food, though. You should at least try to eat something healthy.”

“Gods, wench. Don’t you ever just want to drown yourself in bacon grease and full fat dairy products?” Jaime poked her stomach.

She kicked his ankle. “My name is Brienne and after a while, you just get used to it. Arugula tastes better than fried cheese.”

“No, no, it really doesn’t. I’m with Jaime on this one. You’ve been out voted,” Tyrion said.

“As penance, you can flog yourself fifty times later or run ten extra miles, whichever. Or both.” Jaime paused for a moment. “Do you have a flogger?”

Brienne rolled her eyes.

Two hours, two cheeseburgers, one salad, and one giant plate of bacon cheese fries later, Tyrion had slipped off to places unknown and Jaime had challenged her to pool. They were playing best of five as Brienne had won the first two and Jaime the second two.

“You should yield now, wench. I’ve got this.”

Brienne assessed the table. He had two near impossible shots. He’d also had four beers. This game was hers. In a surprising burst of confidence, she made a challenge. “If I win, you have to stop calling me wench.”

Jaime walked the table for a good look, then nodded. “I stop calling you wench for a month. And if I win, you have to cybersex me in meetings.”

For just one moment, Brienne had the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose. She circled the table again. Even if he got lucky, he’d be in no position to sink his last ball. Maybe it was the night, or maybe it was seeing Cersei again and not melting. Her confidence was high. “Deal.”

Jaime looked surprised, then winked at her.

Brienne’s heart began to sink. He might actually do it.

Dontos Hollard was a happy drunk, usually. He, however, wasn’t always a happy drunk. Sometimes he was a sloppy, messy pisspants drunk. Tonight was one of those nights. He just happened to notice Jaime Lannister playing pool. He’d been fired by Cersei Baratheon a few months prior and he felt like sharing a piece of his mind. Unfortunately, what he shared was the entire contents of his stomach. All over the pool table.

Jaime backed away from the pool table. Brienne’s CPR training kicked in. She checked Hollard’s pulse, pupil dilation, and listened to his chest. Her assessment was that he’d simply passed out and wasn’t in danger of more than a hangover. His friends collected him to take him home, apologizing profusely to the bar owner.

When she came back from washing her hands, Jaime was waiting for her at the door.

He started the minute that got out the door. “I’m calling that a win. I had two balls to go and I would have made them both. You have to cybersex me.”

“But you didn’t make those two balls so you did not win.”

“I would have.”

“Maybe not.”

“It was a lock.”

“You might have choked.”

“I’m Jaime Fucking Lannister, wench. I don’t choke. And I’m still going to call you wench.”

Pod threw the car door open. She stepped in first and scooted over.

“One day, I’m going to black your eye for this. You do realize that?”

“Worth it. Now, back to the cybersexing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure why I feel like this bit fits with the chapter before and the next one, they just do in my head.


	3. Accidental Phonesex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place after the fake engagement. I am going to post how that happens because there are a couple of conversations in it that I think have some merit. 
> 
> At this point in the story, Brienne has decided that Jaime is sexually attracted to her, somewhat, but only because she's so mannish.
> 
> This is messy and has POV issues. You can see how the sense-making part of the story falls apart in some places, but hey, PHONESEX.

Brienne's phone rang. She answered, “Jaime, it’s one a.m. Why are you calling me?”

“We haven’t talked all day.”

“We had dinner together. We texted all day long.”

“You ignored half of my texts,” Jaime complained. “And I had to have lunch with Lancel. _Lancel_. He ate his bacon cheese burger with a fork.”

Brienne rolled over. “Lancel’s not awful. And why were you eating bacon cheese burgers?”

“I had to do something to get me through lunch with him. Daven and Tyrion were no help. You were ignoring my texts. I turned to food for comfort.”

“Don’t be stupid, Jaime. They are your family. I had a nice lunch with Catelyn and her daughters.”

“Arya thinks I’m a dick.”

“Well. Yes. But how do you know that?” Brienne asked.

“She sent me a text. It said ‘you’re a dick and Brienne deserves better, hurt her and I’ll break your stupid face.’ Did Catelyn try to talk you out of marrying me?”

Brienne didn’t answer. Catelyn was her mentor and Jaime was Jaime. She wished they got along.

“She did, didn’t she? She told you I was too old? I’m not too old.”

“No, she said I should make my own choices, not let you or Tywin make my choices for me. Then she told me I needed to come back to Winterfell for school.” Brienne shook her head at the memory.

“Is that what you want? To go back up north? Back to Winterfell?”

“No, Lannisport has a better program.”

She heard Jaime exhale. “Good. I don’t like the cold.”

Brienne laughed. “Oh, you would move to Winterfell with me?”

“That’s what married people do, wench.”

“My name is Brienne, you think you’d know that by now.” Brienne struggled with his confidence that they would get married and it would work. 

She heard him moving. “So what are you wearing?” he asked.

Brienne rolled her eyes. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“So naked?”

“ _No_. I sleep in t-shirts and pajama shorts in the summer, flannel pants in the winter.”

“I sleep naked, all year round.”

“Ugh. Then your sheets are like your underwear.”

Jaime spluttered, “What?”

“I mean your naked parts are rolling all over your sheets, so your sheets are like your underwear,” Brienne explained.

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Of course you haven’t. You’re Jaime. You never think things through.”

“I do think things through.”

Brienne snorted. “Sure you do. That’s how your irritation with Ramsay Bolton ended up with us getting fake engaged.” She rolled onto her back.

“I didn’t think it through at the time, but it’s all turned out well. And we aren’t fake engaged. We are real engaged. Say it.”

“Say what?”

“Say ‘Jaime we are real engaged and I’m going to marry you wearing whatever dress Sansa and Genna pick out on whatever day they plan the wedding.’”

Brienne sighed, remembering how Sansa and Genna had bonded instantly over wedding details. “I told them no pink.”

“Good. You look terrible in pink. But we should make Arya wear pink. Pink lace. And have a ring of flowers in her hair. You should wear blue.”

Brienne bit her lip. “White is traditional.”

“Fuck tradition, Brienne. You could pack a bag and meet me in the garage. We could run off to the Arbor and get married tonight.”

She picked at the sheet. He made things sound fun and easy. “Genna and Sansa would never forgive me. And your father...it’s important to him.”

“Are you going to marry me just to make my father happy?” he asked.

“No.” But she couldn't deny that she didn't want to hurt Tywin.

She heard him inhale. “But you are going to marry me?”

It was her turn to take a deep breath. “Yes.”

He chuckled. “So about this t-shirt and boxers, is it one of your Winterfell shirts?”

“No it’s a sleeveless t-shirt. White.”

“Mmmm, like the ones you wear to work out?”

“I didn’t know you were interested in my workout clothes, but yes.”

“No sports bra underneath though?”

“Jaime…”

“Invite me to your room tonight. Ask me to come up and I’ll be there in an instant. I’ll strip that t-shirt off of you and we’ll rub both our naked parts all over your sheets.”

She laughed. “Whatever.”

“Come on, admit it. I have a great ass.”

He did, in fact, have a great ass. What was the harm in telling him? “Fine, you have a great ass.”

He laughed again. “So you’ve been checking me out? I knew it. I look good naked. Invite me up and I’ll show you.”

“I don’t look good naked.” She tried to keep her thoughts away from what Jaime must look like naked. She’d seen him in his swim trunks in the pool, in his tight boxers in the hotel room. He had a beautiful body. The hair on his chest and arms looked soft. She wanted to touch it. His back was strong. He was muscular but not overly so. He was perfect.

“You look amazing naked,” Jaime argued.

“What?” Jaime had never seen her naked, at least as far as she knew. “How do you know what I look like?”

She could hear him laughing again. “When you got drunk, you stripped off your dress. You stood there wearing nothing but barely there blue panties and high heels. I should have taken a picture.”

She slapped her hand over her eyes. “I did not.”

“Yes you did.” His laugh was husky. It sent shivers down her spine.

“Now that I’m dead from embarrassment, I’m going to hang up and go to sleep.”

“Not yet,” he protested. “Just a few more minutes.”

“I’m tired, Jaime.”

“I’ll just call you back.”

“I could turn my phone off.” She knew she wouldn’t. They both knew she wouldn’t.

“I just need to hear your voice for a little bit longer.” He sounded odd, desperate almost.

“Okay. Just a couple more minutes.”

“Mmmm.”

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Thinking about your nipples.”

Her nipples hardened the moment he said it. “Jaime,” she admonished.

“So perfect, Brienne. So perfect.”

She knew better though. Her chest was more a man’s than a woman’s. Shoulders too broad, breasts like saucers.

He interrupted her thoughts, “Slide your hand under your t-shirt and touch your nipple for me.”

Almost on instinct, her hand slipped under her shirt. She stopped just under her breast. “What? _No_.”

“Please? For me? Imagine it’s my hand. My hand sliding up your shirt, cupping your breast. I bet it fits perfectly. Your nipple hardening against my palm.”

She did slide her hand up her shirt then and held her breast. Both of her nipples standing out and sensitive. She remained silent.

“Slide your hand down now, Brienne. Trail your fingers down your chest, dance them over your belly button, under your shorts and into your panties. It could be my hand.”

“Jaime,” she knew her voice was breathy. She wanted him to stop. She wanted him to go on. She wanted him.

“Tell me how you touch yourself. Do you rub your clit? Soft then hard? One finger inside? Or two? Tell me how you like to cum, Brienne. Tell me.”

She imagined his hand on his cock. Talking to her and touching himself. As if he truly wanted her.

“Jaime,” she started but didn’t know how to finish.

“Please tell me. Tell me what you like best.” She could hear the urgency in his voice now. “Talk to me.”

“I...I…” she stammered.

“I need to hear you, Brienne, please. Please.” He was begging now.

She took a deep breath and covered her face with her hand. “In the shower,” she began and then let the rest out in one quick breath, “there’s a detachable shower head.” She bit her lip in humiliation.

“Gods Brienne,” he called out, his breathing ragged. Then it slowed down. She heard him laugh. “I’m not sure I even understand that. You’re going to have to let me watch.”

“Shut up. I’m going to sleep now.”

“Don’t go. I have questions. Which of the massager settings? What happens when the water gets cold? Do you do it after your morning work outs?”

“Good night, Jaime.”

“You’re such a teasing wench.”

She hung up the phone and went into the bathroom. She took off her t-shirt and looked in the mirror at her breasts. He said they were perfect. She stood in profile. There was barely anything there. She turned on the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise to eventually post the bit that includes Ramsay so the engagement makes sense.


End file.
